things things things

so i've recently come to the realization that i an a screw up. I'm not looking for sympathy. or anyone to tell me different.

i barely made it through GCSE's i didn't want to go to sixth form but was made to i barely made it thought sixth form.

I'm 24 and unemployed my mum chose to tell me today "by the time she was 24 your sister had been working for two years and gone to university" great so now i can add being the one who didn't go to university to my list of reasons i suck.

but.

i DID make it through GCSEs with absolutely no revision i managed a C grade in science.

i got bullied. i got depressed i got eating problems. and i made it through what is for many the most difficult part of their life. i didn't go to university but its my academically advanced older siblings who have to turn to me to ask "what is the monster with a lions head goats body and snake for a tail" it is me my parents turn to and ask "what is saturn largest moon"

it is me the one who is already well on his way to messing up his life who everyone refers to as "the patient and wise one. the tougher one"

i need to sort myself out because. if when a failure i can do all i've done so far. if a failure who does no corse work can get 96% in his exams. imagine just imagine what he could do when a success.