august mayhem

argh!

seriously! argh! how the hell did i manage it? I'm unemployed. boo hoo and all that.

but.

unemployment means i've had all year to do stuff and i have done the odd trip into town or gone to visit siblings at their flats in london. but i haven't DONE anything. i don't like being a couch potato but i woke up the other day to the realisation that that is what i have become. how ghastly.

so

we come back to the argh. this month. starting tomorrow i sem to have a hectic month.

tomorrow i have to catch a train to wales where i will be stewarding at a jazz festival for the weekend. thing is. i have never been to where the festival is. its hard to get to. i STILL haven't managed to contact the person i'm meant to be staying with. so today i have to try extra hard. oh and he's the boyfriend of a friend who i have only met a couple of times. but hey it sounds like it's going to be awesome and killer fun.

then on monday i have to get up crack of dawn to get a bus to get a train to get a train to get a train. yes you counted correctly one bus three trains. fun huh? the reason i'm doing this is because im going to my uncles for a week he is ill. he has a problem with his skin. it causes him a great amount of pain. he has had it a year and is only just no going in for atch tests. my birthday happens this week but we are putting it off till next week end.

on the 22nd a verry close friend whose mother refers to us as her 'english cousins' and who i call my god sister is getting married so we are all rushing off to that. we are all very excited. but she is american and as such there will be rehersal dinner. my pairents have decided that my siblings and i should sing a song for her. which we do do for big occaisions. my siblings sang a song for me when i left on my gap year we sang a song for my godmthers 25th wedding anerversary. the thing i have neglected to mention is we wrtie the lyrics. i have been charged with writeing the lyrics. no pressure then lol.

then pretty much as soon as we have come down from the wedding we are off again.

sorry had to vent. all are nice things dont get me wrong. but they seam to all be happening at the same time one on top of another. and i'm feeling like i used to. and thats not good because when i used to feellike this i'd snap and run away or start on a path of selfdestruction. so i'm tryign to step back and take a deep breath.